Doubts
by suspensegirl
Summary: This is a oneshot unless I happen to change my mind again. It's about Padme's worries before the wedding...takes place, obviously, at the end of Ep2. I wanted a wedding with words.


"Doubts"

As Anakin was taking Padme back to Naboo, he grew excited. He knew they'd be getting married soon. After all, both of their loves for each other had been recognized and spoken about. They would do this secretly, of course, but they had to marry…to live. Sure, it might end up destroying their lives, but there was always the chance that it wouldn't. _And besides…I'd rather have a destructive life with Padme…than a safe one without her._ Anakin thought to himself.

"We're here," Padme said, worries clouding her happy thoughts of Anakin. She, too, was planning on getting married, but she was starting to doubt herself. _What if he gets found out? And expelled? It'd be all my fault! I want him to be happy…and successful in life…oh, is this the right thing to do?_ She thought.

"Well…m'lady," Anakin said, charmingly helping her out of the gondola on the Lake retreat. She graciously took his hand, and stood upon the stone steps of the grand cottage. "You're right, once again," he said. They thanked the old man who had brought them there and smiled as he sped away.

"If those two don't hook-up I just might slap myself," the old man muttered to himself.

Padme smiled as Anakin sweetly helped her balance herself on the steps, grasping her waist gently. Her eyes fluttered closed for a minute. The very nearness of him, made her stomach do a summersault, and her heart beat ever so quickly. She was so in love with him. There was no mistake about that. She wanted him to kiss her so desperately. As if he had read her mind, Anakin bent down once the man was out of sight…and kissed her for quite some time. They both enjoyed every minute of it.

"Anakin," Padme said, breathlessly pulling away.

"What?" he said, nuzzling her nose with his own.

"Stop," she said, still breathlessly speaking. "I can't breathe," she said, smiling.

"Oh, sorry. I guess I got carried away," he said, smirking, "Let's go up to the balcony. I know there are some stone benches up there."

"Alright," she said, walking far ahead of him to get there first. _I can't be so close to him…uh…_

"Is this a race?" he asked, smiling his killer smile, as he finally reached the top step, glancing over at her on a "stone bench". She was breathing heavily. "Are you alright?" he asked, rushing over to her, and looking at her sympathetically, but still managing his killer smile. Padme looked at him, and had to turn away. He was already on his knees…and she wouldn't let him ask another all-too-important question.

"Yes, I'm fine," she said, looking around at everything, but the gorgeous, loving face in front of her.

"Good," he said, turning her face to look at him, gently. "I need to ask you something."

"No, you don't," she said, standing up and walking towards the balcony. Anakin was confused.

"You did confess your love to me right?" he asked, wondering if he had been dreaming.

"Yes," she said, sighing.

"Well…then, why can't I ask you a question?" he asked, walking over to stand behind her, breathing down her neck. The dreamy atmosphere took over Padme once more, as her eyes fluttered shut. However, she still forced some part of herself to stay logical, as she opened her mouth and spoke.

"Because," she said.

"Why?" he asked, hugging her waist with his gentle, strong arms.

"Because," she squeaked, turning around to look at him. "I…I can't do this, Anakin." Anakin's face turned into an upset child's glare and he walked to the other side of the balcony, staring into the magnificent view.

"So, then you lied?" he asked, disbelieving his words. Padme was silent. He turned around. "Everything you said, was a lie?" Padme hated not speaking up, because she knew what he said wasn't true, but she didn't know how else she could break out of this, so she kept her mouth shut.

"Well, did you lie?" he asked, "I thought you loved me, but am I wrong?" Anakin couldn't take the silence. He ran up to her, and grasped her arms with his own hands, somewhat forcibly. The cold metal seemed so bitter against Padme's arms, and Anakin hated doing this to her.

"Padme! Tell me I'm wrong! Tell me everything I've just asked of you isn't true! Tell me!" Anakin said, crying, and falling to the ground, grasping onto her colorful dress. This was killing Padme, and she almost started to cry, despite herself.

"I can't lose you, Padme, I can't," he cried.

"And you never will," she squeaked, "I'll always be there for you, as a friend. I just want you to be happy…and successful…and not to die before the age of thirty," she said. Anakin was silent. He played with the frill of her dress, breathing in her scent, and feeling the texture of her gown with such care and affection as if it were Padme, herself. Time passed, and they both had not moved. Padme still stood so ever still, with such a look of worry on her face. Anakin, still on the ground, had now begun to cling to Padme's leg and hold his head up against her side. Unconsciously, Padme let one of her hands drop upon Anakin's head and brush her fingers through his unruly, blonde hair. Then, it also slipped down upon Anakin face and gently touched it. After a few more minutes, Padme slinked down and sat upon the stone ground as Anakin's head fell down upon her lap. She still twisted her fingers within his hair, and seemingly floated her hands upon his face. Now, it was Anakin's turn to feel breathless. Every touch of Padme made him feel the need to cry for mercy. He felt uncontrolled…like his soul had been taken over…by love. Oh, and don't worry…Padme's dreamy position had not faltered away in the least. The very fact that she could feel his heart beating upon her, and his breath continuing near her…made her constantly close her eyes and re-open them in the hopes that she was dreaming. But…alas, she was not. Finally, it had come to Padme's attention. That, though, she had been only thinking of Anakin and his need to succeed, she hadn't thought of herself. Yes, he wanted her to be his wife now and forever, but Padme had been so sure of herself, that he COULD indeed live without her. It had just come to her now, that she could NOT live without him. Yes, all her decisions and actions seemed to be uncontrollable in the presence of Anakin because of the love she held for him. It had seemed like such a horrible thing, but it wasn't. It was beautiful. Padme now knew, that she too, would not want to live a perfectly, peaceful life, if it meant a life without Anakin. It was so powerful. It just came over and changed who she was. _Love changes people_, Padme thought, as she smiled. She looked down at Anakin, and he seemed to be sleeping. She shifted her weight slightly and his eyes opened, but he still would not look at her.

Then, Padme knew what to do. She leaned down and pecked his cheek gently with her lips. Anakin slowly turned his head towards her face, and looked at her in wonder.

"Anakin," she said, with so much love in her voice. Anakin did not answer. _What is going on? I don't understand. I just want to be alone in your arms forever. What can you need from me?_ Padme leaned down further and gently whispered into Anakin's ear, "You can ask me now," she said, smiling. Anakin perked right up. He lifted himself up…and got on his knees, ever so joyfully asking the woman of his dreams the one question he had only dreamed about asking.

"Padme Naberrie Amidala, will you marry me?" he asked, hope and excitement written in his eyes. Padme smiled, and started to cry with joy.

"Absolutely," she said. Anakin couldn't take it anymore. He flung upon her, and hugged her so desperately, breathing in the scent of Padme.

"Oh Padme, you don't know how happy you make me," he mumbled into her hair.

"Maybe not, but I can't live without you. I love you…now and forever," she said, staring sincerely into his eyes, and Anakin felt it. "Finally, I know," she said, smiling, "I found true love, and I'm not letting it go. Not now. Not ever."

"Don't you even think about it," he said, plunging in for the kiss of their lives. Several moments later, Padme ended the kiss and looked into his eyes with more love than she thought she could consume.

"I wouldn't dare," she said, kissing him once more.

"I love you so much, and I promise I'll never let you go. Never," he said, hugging her desperately. Anakin, then pulled out a golden ring from his pocket, and gestured for the "secret" priest to come in, and that he did. Padme looked up.

"Oh my goodness!" she said, giggling. Anakin smiled. "Oh, I love you!" she said. The priest smiled.

"Now, if you would get dressed m'lady, I will begin with the service," the priest said gently, as the two all-famous droids pranced out onto the stone balcony. Anakin and Padme just looked at each other and smiled.

"Well, I guess I need to get dressed then," she said, running inside. Anakin smiled, leaning back, and day-dreaming about all the moments he had spent with Padme…and how many more they would share…_life is good, _he thought to himself. Once he finally opened his eyes, Padme was all decked out and was starting to come towards him. He smiled, when suddenly a thought came to him. _I don't have my vows! Shoot!_ He thought.

"What am I gonna do about my vows, C-3PO?" he asked, the golden droid.

"Oh, I'm sure they'll come to you," he said, nudging him, and Anakin looked up. It was Padme. She looked absolutely beautiful. Her lacing dress seemed to just gleam upon her shimmering figure, and heavenly skin. Her soft, brown eyes spoke of her love, and her slight smile made Anakin feel all better. She, too, had no vows, but she didn't need the approval of a droid to know what to say.

"Are we ready?" the priest asked, secretly smiling at the look written on Anakin's face.

"Yes," they said together.

"You look amazing," Anakin said, astonishing at her beauty, and content. The smile on his face did not wipe away the rest of the night. He was about to move forward and kiss her again, but the priest intervened.

"Ah…ah…ah, no kissing before marriage? Right?" he asked, smiling, and holding a finger between them.

"Right," Padme said, mouthing the word… 'wait' to Anakin. Anakin seemed slightly disturbed, but the smile still danced upon his face. The service began. It seemed so perfect, although Padme had wished for her family and friends to be there. She had all she would ever need standing right there in front of her. Doubting began to cloud her judgements once more, but she brushed them away quickly.

"You may recite your vows now," the priest said.

"Alright, I'll go first," she said. Anakin nodded. "Anakin Skywalker, lover of my soul, and protector of my heart and body, I love you. My love for you will never die. Not today or tomorrow, not even after I'm dead or you're dead. I do solemnly swear to have you and to hold you in sickness and in health, till never will we part. I met you when I was young, and had a lot of duties. You turned my world upside down, and made me feel loved and helped me think about my happiness too. Despite that, though, I will always think of you first. But on this one day, I will admit, I'm marrying because I can't live without you, and I plan on taking all the trials and dangers of our lives on together, because I can't do it alone. Not anymore. Now that I've met you, my life is complete, and I'll never allow myself to live incompletely anymore," Padme said, lovingly looking into Anakin's eyes. Anakin was overwhelmed, but decided to speak up after a couple nods of the priest.

"Okay," he said, breathing in and out deeply a few times, "I love you Padme. From the moment I laid my eyes on you, when I was a slave at the age of nine on that desolate planet of Tattoine. I was going to have you, and only you. You are so beautiful, and you have a such a strong and loving spirit. You make me feel as if our love is the only force in the world, and even if there were others we could always conquer it with our love. I do also solemnly swear to love you and to care for you in sickness and in health till never will we part. For my life would be over if you were ever not there. If you were ever to permanently leave me, my life would be over. Everything that is right, would be wrong, and I would destroy myself, because my love for you is so strong. I need you to survive. I'd rather live a destructive life with you, then risk a happy life without you. You complete me, and I hope to never be apart from you, ever. I love you," he said. Padme contemplated on what he said. _He would destroy himself? Right would be wrong? What is this? If I ever die, will he destroy all that is good?_

However, there was not much time to think.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Anakin Skywalker. You may now kiss your bride," the priest said, nodding once more to Anakin and exiting the premises as the droids clapped enthusiastically. Padme looked into Anakin's soft blue eyes, and her worries faded away. Their hands joined together, and no longer did the metal feel cold and crisp against her hand, but she warmed it with her golden touch. Anakin and Padme moved closer to each other, and nuzzled upon each other's noses. Padme kissed him first, which was interesting because Anakin had been told to do it. But Anakin continued the kiss, making it seem like a lifetime more, and once they had finally parted their lips from each other, Anakin smiled, allowing his eyes dance upon her face. Padme's worries returned. There was no turning back no, and she knew it, but when finally her eyes returned to Anakin's, a peace filled her. _I love him. True love breaks all evil…it conquers all bad…and it lives forever._ With that thought in her mind, Padme smiled, turning to face the sunset with Anakin, holding dearly onto his metal hand and allowing her head to drop upon his shoulder. Anakin smiled deep within his heart, as well as on the outside._ I will always love you. I will not let my vows become false…ever. You are my soul…and the love I have for you will never die. You are mine…and I am yours. Now and forever._ _I'll never let you go…I promise._


End file.
